You have made such a difference
in so many lives.
Please know that while we mourn your loss,
we also celebrate the gifts
we would never have known ... if we hadn't known you.
We were so blessed to have you.
You are ... forever in our hearts.
We Love You,
Mom, Dad, Jimmy, Danny, Grandma, and Missy
Today I was happy...I held a memory of you!
This poem was turned in, by Katie, to her English teacher, Mr. Donald Case, whom she greatly admired, just several days before the accident, that claimed her life. Struck by the profoundness of this poem, Mr. Case was kind enough to bring it to our home, and share it with us, for which we will always be grateful. Now, we would like to share it with you.
A mother, a father, a brother and friends.
An Angel is what she was meant to be
Now just think of all she can see.
In the night we sleep, in the day we cry
She watches us all from her star in the sky.
the clouds part as the sun shines through
in my heart i know that He's with you
now that you're gone the world will weep
but not God's kingdom since you fell asleep
the angels rejoice as we wipe our tears
how do you say good-bye after fifteen years
i know that you're safe, you have wings, you can fly
please watch over us upon your cloud in the sky
the Lord has blessed us with your smile and your face
these are special memories that no one can erase
now the time has come when we must say good-bye
to you and to the other children
that were too young to die
"For Katie"
Rest in Peace
Written by Gina Cocchiaro, 12/22/98
why did she go so soon
she was too young to die
everytime i pray to God
i always ask him why
i find myself so angry
but devastated still
i ponder about for answers
an empty blank i cannot fill
her smile could brighten a room
her presence lit up my day
who would have thought for a second
that she might die today
Lord grant her wings
so she may fly
let her sit and watch over us
upon her cloud in the sky
take care of your newest angel
tell her not to cry
sooner or later we shall meet again
but for now we must say good-bye
"For Katie- I love you"
Written by Gina Cocchiaro, 12/26/98
an angel is one of God's most precious creatures
who looks down upon us watching ever so carefully
she wraps herself in a white fluffy cloud
like the blanket she once had as a child on earth
she is safe, content, in the hands of God
she gazes upon us as we go about our daily lives
and sends us joy from heaven
with the slightest spread of her wings
her voice is sweeter than any nightingale
and sometimes, if you listen hard enough
you can hear the faint melodious sound of an angel
within the cool breeze of a crisp spring day
and when the sun sets
and the glittering sparkle of the stars emerge
there is always an angel gliding about the night sky
embracing each star in her path
causing them to twinkle with delight
an angel is one of God's most precious creatures
who looks down upon us watching ever so carefully
dwelling peacefully within the house of the Lord
"For a special angel"
Written by Gina Cocchiaro, 5/17/99
Take care of you newest angel when she arrives tonight.
She'll be alone and lost and unsure of what's to come.
She'll have new wings, so teach her to fly to the highest star,
touch the brightest light.
She'll be different than she was when she was with us yesterday.
She'll have her new body, new face, and a new heart
with a strong and steady beat.
She's going to run down the golden roads of Heaven
with a stride that's faster than ever before
and she'll leap toward the sun with the grace of the angel that she is,
flying with iridescent wings like the most elegant of eagles.
So I beg you please, when she arrives, show her to her correct place in line,
help her find the spot in the clouds
from which she'll sit and watch her family and friends.
Don't let her be discouraged by our grieving
But remind her that we will join her soon.
We'll be together forever once again like the family we were just a short time ago.
So take care of your newest angel with the unused wings,
teach her to how to fly, teach her to soar through the sky.
Take care of your angel.
Written by Leslie Schultz
IN LOVING MEMORY OF KATIE SHOFFMAN WHO PASSED AWAY DECEMBER 17, 1998 CHOIR WILL MISS YOU AND YOUR SMILE
Those we hold most dear
never truly leave us...
They live on
in the kindness they showed,
the comfort they shared
and the love
they brought into our lives.
What we have once enjoyed
we can never lose.
All that we love deeply
Becomes a part of us.
Author Unknown
Some things I'd like to say but, first of all,
to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no more tears or sadness.
There is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon, and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my time on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, as part of My big plan.
There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man."
Then God gave me a list of things He wished for me to do.
Foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you,
And I will be beside you, every day and week and year.
And when you're sad, I'm standing there to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth and all those loving years,
because you're only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But, do not be afraid to cry. It does relieve the pain.
Remember, there would be no flowers unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned,
but, if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is o're,
I am closer to you now then I ever was before.
And to my many friends...trust God knows what is best.
I'm still not far away from you.
I'm just beyond the crest.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy, and I'd like it for you, too,
that as you give unto the World, so the World will give to you.
If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain,
then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So, if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind...
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze, or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
remember you're not going...you are coming here to me.
And I will always love you from that land way up above.
Will be in touch again soon.
PS Heavenly Father sends His love.
Author Unknown
"I'll lend you for a little time
a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love, the while she lives
and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be ten or fifteen years,
or sixty-two or three,
But will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
and should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories as
solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true,
And from the many that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love,
not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call,
to take her back again?"
I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness,
we'll love her while we may.
And for the happiness we've known,
forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for her
much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and try to understand."
Author Unknown
If Tears Could Build A Stairway
If tears could build a stairway,
and memories were a lane,
I would walk right up to Heaven
to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say good-bye,
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
and secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you --
no one will ever know.
Author Unknown
I'm Spending Christmas With Jesus This Year
I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below.
With tiny lights like Heaven's stars
reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
For I have no words to tell you
the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description
to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me.
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away;
We really aren't apart.
I can't tell you of the splendor
or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
with our Savior, face to face?
I'll ask him to light your spirit
as I tell him of your love.
So then pray for one another
as you lift your eyes above.
So please let your hearts be joyful,
and let your spirit sing.
For I'm spending Christmas in Heaven,
and I'm walking with the King!
Author Unknown
This year when Christmas boughs are draped,
And cards around the doorway taped,
And cookies baked, and green wreaths hung,
And carols in the crisp night sung;
This Christmas cannot be as fair
In homes where there's an empty chair.
Dear God in Heaven, bless with peace
Those whose Christmas joy has ceased,
For those who grieve cannot bear
The stillness of that empty chair.
Instill in them a second sight
To see in death a lasting light
Which reassures that those who've died
Now kneel before the manger side
To celebrate the blessed birth
More grandly than we can do on Earth.
And may those visions of your care
Bring hope enough to fill that chair
So Christmas carols may be sung
And Christmas bells may still be rung
And Christmas peace replace all fears
And Christmas joy be felt through tears.
Author Unknown
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready in Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away, a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die;
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good times and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe make you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from his great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you.
Today your life on Earth is past but here it starts anew."
Author Unknown
We little knew that morning that God
was going to call your name.
In life we love you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you;
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories;
your love is still our guide.
And though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same;
but as God calls us, one by one,
The Chain will link again.
Author Unknown
To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me
When I am gone, release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do.
Be happy that we had some years.
I gave you my love. You can only guess,
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it's time I traveled alone.
So grieve a while for me if grieve you must;
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a while that we must part.
So keep the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me call and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All of my love around you, soft and dear.
And then when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say,
"Welcome Home"
Author Unknown
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full. I've savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now... He set me free.
Author Unknown
If You Could See Where I Have Gone
If you could see where I have gone,
The beauty of this place,
And how it feels to know you're home,
To see the Savior's face.
To wake in peace and know no fear,
just joy beyond compare.
While still on Earth, you miss me, yet,
you wouldn't want me there,
If you could see where I have gone.
If you could see where I have gone,
had made the trip with me,
You'd know I didn't go alone,
The Savior came with me.
When I awoke, He was by my side,
and reached out his hand,
Said, "Hurry, Child, you're coming home
to a grand and glorious land.
Don't worry over those you love,
for I'm not just with you.
And don't you know, with you at home,
they'll long to be here too".
If you could see where I have gone,
and see what I've been shown,
You'd never know another tear,
or ever feel alone.
You'd marvel at the care of God,
His hand on every life.
And realize he really cares,
and bears with us each strife.
And that he weeps when one is lost,
His heart is filled with pain.
But oh! The joy when one comes home,
a child is home again.
If you could see where I have gone,
could stay a while with me,
Could share the things that God has made,
to grace eternity.
But no, you could never leave,
once Heaven's joy you'd known,
You couldn't beat to walk Earth's paths,
once Heaven was your home.
If you could see where I have gone,
you'd know we'll meet someday,
And though I'm parted from you now,
I am just away.
So, thank you family, thank you friends,
for living for the Lord,
For teaching me to love Him,
to trust Him and His word.
And now that I'm at home with Him,
secure in every way,
I'm waiting here at Heaven's door,
to greet you some sweet day.
Author Unknown
The Lord, our God has spoken:
Be not ill, but at ease my child, for I am with you always.
I hear the calling from your heart unto the Heavens and asking,
Where has my beloved gone?
Hear me my child and I will tell you.
The day of her great passing, your beloved daughter moved
from the warm embrace of your arms into mine.
For I have sent an angel to see her safely here, to me,
in the garden of eternal life.
She is with me here now.
From your hand to mine did she pass and settle here within my bosom.
Yes, I carried her and laid her gently upon the field,
where all my children play.
I have kissed her cheek tenderly and said,
Go my love, for now you are truly free.
I have watched as she dances in her Heavenly delight
and have greatly felt her joy.
For this fair flower whom I have waited delightfully for,
is now part of my gardened fields, forever.
Be at peace my child, for I will tend her with exceeding love
and I will nourish her with the waters of eternal light.
Never again will she know the cold chill of the night,
for I will hold her in my warm embrace,
and fill her spirit with the brightness of my eternal light.
She will bloom, and eternally grow, and the sweetness of her fragrance
will fill the Heavens; such that the angels shall sing and the saints rejoice.
Here she will stay until your return from your journey.
Then, I will enjoin you with her eternally;
that together you may dance the dance of eternal life, forever.
Be strong my child, have faith;
For it is but a short time before you will be together once again.
Author Unknown
Do Not Stand by My Grave and Weep
Do not stand by my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am a diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starshine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there...I did not die.
Author Unknown
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning -- to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For the dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own:
The cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy's been read
With your life actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
The Dash © 1998 (Original copyright 1996.) by Linda Ellis
Linda's poem, "The Dash" is in the new book, Healing Grief
by New York Times Bestselling Author, James Van Praagh
Release Date: April 24, 2000
used with permission.
"While Katie's dash only lasted fifteen short years, she filled her dash completely.
Katie lived each day of her life to the fullest. She knew what was "true and real."
She loved her life, her family, her friends, and always wore a smile.
Would she be proud of how she spent her dash? I believe she would.
We, her family, could not possibly be any prouder of who Katie was, and how she lived her short,
but beautiful life. She will shine on forever in our lives, and in the lives of those she touched."-Mom
Unless you've lost a child, don't ask if we are over it yet,
We'll never be over it, a part of us died with our child.
Don't tell us they are in a better place,
they are not here with us, where they belong.
Don't say at least they are not suffering,
we haven't come to terms with why they suffered at all.
Don't tell us at least we have our other children,
which of your children would you have sacrificed?
Don't ask us if we feel better,
bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Don't force your beliefs on us,
not all of us have the same faith.
Don't tell us at least we had our child for so many years,
what year would you choose for your child to die.
Don't tell us God never gives us more than we can bear,
right now we don't feel we can handle anything else.
Don't avoid us, we don't have a contagious disease,
just unbearable pain.
Don't tell us you know how we feel,
unless you have lost a child,
no other loss can compare to losing a child,
it's not the natural order of things.
Don't take our anger personally,
we don't know who we are angry at or why
and lash out at those closest to us.
Don't whisper behind us when we enter a room,
we are in pain, but not deaf.
Don't stop calling us after the initial loss,
our grief does not stop there
and we need to know others are thinking of us.
Don't be offended when we don't return calls right away,
we take each moment as it comes, and some are worse than others.
Don't tell us to get on with our lives,
we each grieve differently and in our own time frame,
grief cannot be governed by any clock or calendar.
Do say you are sorry, but we'd rather hear nothing than the cliches that you don't mean.
Do put your arms around us and hold us,
we need your strength to get us through each day.
Do say you remember our child, if you do,
memories are all we have left and we cherish them.
Do let us talk about our child,
our child lived and still lives on in our hearts, forever.
Do mention our child's name,
it will not make us sad or hurt our feelings.
Do let us cry...crying is an important part of the grief process.
Cry with us if you want to.
Do remember us on special dates, our child's birth date, death date and holidays
are a very lonely and difficult time for us without our child.
Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember our child, we do.
Do show our family that you care, sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain.
Do be thankful for children,
nothing hurts us worse than seeing other people in pain.
Originally written by Mary Clecky, Atlanta TCF
A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.
And for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to the world.
But then it flies again,
and though we wish it could have stayed,
we feel so lucky to have seen it.
Author Unknown